Another conversation that I can't quite believe actually happened.
[The scene is our toy room. Bundle and Cherub are sitting with a deck of cards between them.]
Bundle: Uno
Cherub: Uno
Bundle: Uno
Cherub: Uno
Bundle: No, Uno
Cherub: No, Uno
Bundle: No, Uno
Cherub: No, Uno
[beat]
Bundle: I don't know.....
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Friday, 9 January 2009
How to make a parent happy
Bundle: But why can't we go bike riding yet?
INC: Well, I need to get dressed first. I don't think everyone in the street wants to see me in my boxer shorts
Bundle: I think some of them might
INC: Well, I need to get dressed first. I don't think everyone in the street wants to see me in my boxer shorts
Bundle: I think some of them might
Monday, 15 December 2008
Fox News Update
For those who are wondering how this disaster waiting to happen ended, well, yesterday was the day when Bundle finally met Crazy Uncle Fox.
You will be pleased to know that, with no prompting from me at all, Bundle decided that we had to take the customised All Pro Scoop with us and show it to his uncle so that he would remember.
And we did.
My brother was bemused, to say the least, but pleased to be famous for something.
The whole thing is getting out of hand, partly because my wife thinks it's funny to talk about Crazy Uncle Fox whenever she gets the chance, to the point where I had to explain to Bundle that that is not actually his uncle's real name.
The whole bat story has taken hold to the point that, when Bundle found out that Uncle Fox was coming around on Christmas Eve "to help Daddy and Santa"*, he suddenly looked worried and asked "He won't put a hole in the presents, will he?"
I considered feeling bad about this, but then my idiot brother spent Sunday afternoon telling my nieces what my nickname was when I was 5 years old,** so I decided to feel entirely fine instead.
* There is a springfree trampoline arriving soon. Ssssh, don't tell the boys, it's a surprise.
** There is not enough money in the world to persuade me to tell you what it was.
You will be pleased to know that, with no prompting from me at all, Bundle decided that we had to take the customised All Pro Scoop with us and show it to his uncle so that he would remember.
And we did.
My brother was bemused, to say the least, but pleased to be famous for something.
The whole thing is getting out of hand, partly because my wife thinks it's funny to talk about Crazy Uncle Fox whenever she gets the chance, to the point where I had to explain to Bundle that that is not actually his uncle's real name.
The whole bat story has taken hold to the point that, when Bundle found out that Uncle Fox was coming around on Christmas Eve "to help Daddy and Santa"*, he suddenly looked worried and asked "He won't put a hole in the presents, will he?"
I considered feeling bad about this, but then my idiot brother spent Sunday afternoon telling my nieces what my nickname was when I was 5 years old,** so I decided to feel entirely fine instead.
* There is a springfree trampoline arriving soon. Ssssh, don't tell the boys, it's a surprise.
** There is not enough money in the world to persuade me to tell you what it was.
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Is this line bugged?
Bundle really has been on fire this week. This morning, it was a conversation on his toy telephone that went a little something like this.
"Hello."
"Hello. who's this?"
"Bug? IS YOUR NAME 'BUG'?"
Puts telephone down, scowls furiously, and yells:
"THIS IS MAAAAAAAAD"
When the phone rang this evening, and I knew it would be one of Honey Bear's friends from the kinder committee, I cannot tell you just how hard it was not to answer the phone in exactly the same way as Bundle, just to see what would happen.
Try it, and let me know how it goes.
"Hello."
"Hello. who's this?"
"Bug? IS YOUR NAME 'BUG'?"
Puts telephone down, scowls furiously, and yells:
"THIS IS MAAAAAAAAD"
When the phone rang this evening, and I knew it would be one of Honey Bear's friends from the kinder committee, I cannot tell you just how hard it was not to answer the phone in exactly the same way as Bundle, just to see what would happen.
Try it, and let me know how it goes.
Monday, 8 December 2008
Getting to yes
Bundle: Daddy, do you have brown hair
INC: Yes. And yours is blonde, isn't it? And it's very lovely
Bundle: Is it lovelier than yours?
INC: Yes. I think it is.
Bundle: Hmmm. So, can we agree on that?
INC: [beat] Ye-e-s. Yes, we can.
Bundle: Oh thank you.
[Gives INC a big cuddle to express his gratitude]
INC: Yes. And yours is blonde, isn't it? And it's very lovely
Bundle: Is it lovelier than yours?
INC: Yes. I think it is.
Bundle: Hmmm. So, can we agree on that?
INC: [beat] Ye-e-s. Yes, we can.
Bundle: Oh thank you.
[Gives INC a big cuddle to express his gratitude]
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Whatever happened to "Nyah Nyah, can't get meeeee"?
Bundle and Cherub were running around the backyard of their grandparents' s house, taking it in turns to try to spray each other with one of those little spray bottles that are most commonly used for pot plants.
And giggling.
Eventually, Cherub decided to come inside. He ran through the sliding glass door into the living area next to the kitchen, and closed it.
Bundle came right up to the door and sprayed it. Cherub stood just inside the door, on the other side of the glass from where Bundle was spraying.
As the water ran down the outside of the glass door, Cherub pointed to it, and, very politely, asked "Is it on the outside? Is that the problem?"
And smiled, ever so sweetly.
And giggling.
Eventually, Cherub decided to come inside. He ran through the sliding glass door into the living area next to the kitchen, and closed it.
Bundle came right up to the door and sprayed it. Cherub stood just inside the door, on the other side of the glass from where Bundle was spraying.
As the water ran down the outside of the glass door, Cherub pointed to it, and, very politely, asked "Is it on the outside? Is that the problem?"
And smiled, ever so sweetly.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
All alone in the moonlight
My brother is coming to visit around Christmas time. He lives in WA so it's a very long time since the boys saw him. With that in mind, I probably need to stop referring to him as "your crazy uncle Fox"
Here's why.
May 2008
I was teaching Bundle & Cherub to play cricket. We found the bat I used when I played in the under-12s at my local club. It's an "All-Pro" signed by Sunil Gavaskar, for those who may be wondering. Bundle quit reasonably wanted to know why there was a big scoop out of the back. The answer was that my brother decided that having a scoop out of the back of his SS bat seemed to help Australian Captain Kim Hughes so he thought he'd try it out on mine.
I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad about the fact that, in the course of trying to explain that one to a 3 year old, I used the phrase "your crazy uncle" at least once.
June 2008
We took the boys to see the house where I grew up. As I was showing them around, I said "This was your Uncle Fox's room. Bundle said "He's the one who put a hole in your bat. He's crazy, that one"
I resolved to stop mentioning my brother for a few weeks in the hope that the whole thing would be forgotten.
October 2008
This had been working well until I told the boys that their cousins would be visiting this Christmas and, in a moment of weakness, accidentally let slip another reference to their father, crazy Uncle Fox.
Bundle said "I didn't know he was CRAZY".
He then thought for a minute before adding "Didn't he put a hole in something?".
And, a moment later "Hey, let's play cricket".
There's really not a chance that this will have all been forgotten by Christmas.
I guess I should stop referring to my sister in law as " your mad Auntie Poet" sometime soon.
Here's why.
May 2008
I was teaching Bundle & Cherub to play cricket. We found the bat I used when I played in the under-12s at my local club. It's an "All-Pro" signed by Sunil Gavaskar, for those who may be wondering. Bundle quit reasonably wanted to know why there was a big scoop out of the back. The answer was that my brother decided that having a scoop out of the back of his SS bat seemed to help Australian Captain Kim Hughes so he thought he'd try it out on mine.
I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad about the fact that, in the course of trying to explain that one to a 3 year old, I used the phrase "your crazy uncle" at least once.
June 2008
We took the boys to see the house where I grew up. As I was showing them around, I said "This was your Uncle Fox's room. Bundle said "He's the one who put a hole in your bat. He's crazy, that one"
I resolved to stop mentioning my brother for a few weeks in the hope that the whole thing would be forgotten.
October 2008
This had been working well until I told the boys that their cousins would be visiting this Christmas and, in a moment of weakness, accidentally let slip another reference to their father, crazy Uncle Fox.
Bundle said "I didn't know he was CRAZY".
He then thought for a minute before adding "Didn't he put a hole in something?".
And, a moment later "Hey, let's play cricket".
There's really not a chance that this will have all been forgotten by Christmas.
I guess I should stop referring to my sister in law as " your mad Auntie Poet" sometime soon.
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