If you feel like jumping and you dont know what to do

Well, you could record a children's album with Marty "Go the Dome" Worrall from season 2 of Aus Idol.*

Or, you could read this handy guide to trampoline games as invented by Bundle and Cherub.

It's working

This one started when I finally persuaded Bundle and Cherub that, rather than holding hands with one or the other of them while bouncing, I could hold hands with both and they could hold hands with each other and the three of us could stand in the middle of the trampoline and all bounce together.

We tried it. One of us, mildly surprised by the success of this idea, yelled "It's working!". This was closely followed by "It's not working!" as we collapsed in an unceremonious heap of randomly bouncing limbs.

Pretty soon, the game became a battle of opinions, as whoever had most recent yelled "It's not working" would try to drag the other two of us matwards.

If that was all there was to the game, it might not have made the list, but the boys have now refined it further by deciding that one's opinion as to whether "it's working" is dictated by the colour of one's shirt. Anyone in a blue shirt must believe and declared that "it's working", a red shirt requires the belief that "it's not working", and the person wearing black** must declare that "it's never working".

Just to add to the chaos, now pants colour must be taken into account too. So, when I wear a black T-shirt with khaki shorts, I am required to believe that "it's never working" and "it's always working".

Simultaneously.

Add two enthusiastic boys yelling similarly diametrical opinions and you will end up with an exercise in bouncy surrealism guaranteed to leave everyone involved laughing too hard to breathe.

It is also worth noting at this point that this game operates on exactly the same principle as De Bono's six thinking hats, and I'm willing to bet Edward was much more than 4 years old when he thought that one up.

Walking to Work

This is another game that developed from the practice of holding hands with one child and bouncing in the middle of the trampoline. One day when it was Cherub's turn to do this, Bundle decided to walk around the outside of the trampoline.

I should mention at this point that, if your trampoline is neither round nor surrounded by a very strong and very high net, do not allow your children to play this game.

Ever.

In any case, the basic idea is that one boy will try to "walk to work"*** around the outside of the trampoline while the other boy and I will wait for the most opportune moment to bounce towards the walker and land heavily next to him. If this is done correctly, the walker is bounced off his feet and he lies on the trampoline giggling before suggesting that we do it again.

It's far less sophisticated than the last game (for now), but pleasingly environmentally conscious.

I'm dead
Another fairly straightforward one. The boys and I run around the trampoline until we fall over. Each person who falls announces "I'm dead" and lies there. The last one to die wins.

As with most of the games listed here, I'm not sure how this was invented, and I'm even less sure as to why. My guess, though, would be that it was inspired by a game the boys learnt at a friend's birthday party last year.

The game, called "Dead Man", was imported from America by some of the most engaging children ever to cross the Pacific. In essence, you need to gather a fairly large number of small children. Generally, 6 to 8 works well. One child lies in the middle of the trampoline and the rest of them run around the outside chanting, oddly enough, "Dead man dead man come alive, when I count to number five".

The child in the middle tries to get up by the time the others have counted to five, which is not particularly easy when effect of having six children running around is to cause the allegedly dead person to jolt around wildly.

I only noticed that my children were participating in this when, from across my friends' back yard, I heard the familiar sound of a horizontal, slightly airborne Cherub giggling endlessly and declaring "That drives me nutths"****

Help Woof!

Technically, this should be punctuated as "Help, Woof!" but leaving out the comma gives you a much clearer idea of how it is to be pronounced.

This one was invented while we were dog-sitting my sister's King Charles Spaniel, a beautiful little dog who is very affectionate despite the daily burden of having been named "Woofy". At our place, he is commonly addressed as "Woofster" or simply "Woof", which is no better at all.

Whenever they saw Woofy watching them, Bundle and Cherub would run into the net on one side of the trampoline, bounce off it, and run backwards to the other side whilst waving their arms around as if falling, and yelling "Help Woof".

I'm not sure what they expected a relatively small spaniel who was not even on the trampoline to do about their predicament, but his strategy of standing still and looking increasingly bemused seemed to be popular.

The look on the dog's face was so clear that I could almost see the caption over his head, which could only have said "Theze hoomins iz nutths" or similar.

Find a Spot

Originally, the idea of this game was that if a person was at the edge of a trampoline, anyone who managed to stand next to that person before they moved again would get a point. We would start on different sides and run through the middle, each trying to catch someone else whilst they were briefly standing still.


This actually worked, if only briefly. It got far more chaotic when Bundle decided to claim a point any time he passed anywhere near Cherub or I, regardless of where we were on the trampoline or whether we were moving. Cherub liked the idea too, and the game ended up with the two of them randomly running all over the trampoline yelling "Prize.. prize.. prize..." each time they passed anywhere near anyone else. Or when they didn't.


The look on Honey Bear's face when I said "hey, watch this new game our children invented" was really more than a little entertaining.


I should add that the thing I enjoy most about this game (and yes, we still play it) is that the main prize for the winner is an imaginary silver cup. Other participants who do reasonably well win some cheese.*****

There is a reason. It took me weeks to figure it out, but there is a reason.

In any case, it has been known to lead to conversations like this...




Bundle: I WON. I GET THE SILVER CUP! Oh, here Daddy, you can have some cheese.


INC: What? That's all I get. Just cheese?


Bundle: Oh, okay, you can have a silver cup too.


*Hands imaginary silver cup to INC*

*Looks INC straight in the eye*

Bundle: It's made of cheese.

This trampoline has been excellent value for money.

On. So. Many. Levels.

....

* It takes hard work and talent to get this good at wandering off the point before anyone has the chance to even find out what the point is.

** Me

*** Why they picked this destination has never been fully explained.

**** "nuts". He's two years old.

***** also imaginary